Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
