You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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