My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
