what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
