Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
