What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
