They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You took a bar mat shot.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
