Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Ketchup is God's man juice
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Randomize