i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize