Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
