nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
