When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
His hands were made for my vagina.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
