I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We had sex on a dog bed..
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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