He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize