And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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