please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
