Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
