What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I deserve this hangover.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize