I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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