This girl is more easily done than said...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
