I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
