well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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