he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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