She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize