Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
