You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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