I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
