He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
