I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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