just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
