Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
