mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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