I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
