I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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