my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
And my parents said I crawled through the house
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I had to cum in my sink.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
