Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
