I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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