yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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