I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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