If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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