dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
