you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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