yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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