bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize