And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
