I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
