I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
