I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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