so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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