Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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