oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
