i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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