I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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