she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
