Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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