i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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