Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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