Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
