Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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