the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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