I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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