Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
