Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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