Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
