Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
