Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
pop tarts are not kleenex
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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