Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
